We get it. The college admissions game can put a lot of pressure on you to spill your guts about your most impactful traumas and experiences in your Common App essay. While some students may genuinely wish to tell their story, many more feel compelled to do so merely because they think they have to. So, we started a series on how to tackle those big topics in your Common App essay, and now we’re talking about how to write a Common App essay about having a parent in jail. First, if you find yourself in this situation, we hope you’re doing okay, and we understand the difficulties and uncertainties you must face. We genuinely hope that you have access to support, that you are coping well, and that your well-being is being prioritized. If you need help writing this essay, please reach out here.
We generally do not recommend writing the Common App essay about the worst days of your life or ongoing hardships, even though we have heard many stories of students doing this. The reason we don’t recommend it is that you are more than the things that have happened to you, and if writing a painful essay about having incarcerated family already makes you dread the process, we’re here to give you explicit permission to write about anything else.
If you have one or both parents in jail, there is a good chance you’ll need to address it somewhere in your Common App. There is a section for just that kind of information, the additional information section. Yes! You can give the admissions committee important context to who you are without taking up the Common App essay. We have a lot of guides on how to approach additional info, but here’s the skinny. If having a parent in jail caused issues that impacted your academic transcript, like moving schools often, frequently missed classes, taking a leave of absence, or dropping grades – you must absolutely mention it in additional information. Colleges can only make decisions based on the info you give them, so give them the chance to see you as a whole student with context.
If you do choose to write your Common App essay about having an incarcerated parent, there is a right way and a wrong way to approach it. We think essays about trauma are best if they show a sense of resiliency. We also know admissions officers like Common App essays that are positive, light-hearted, and have happy endings – which is maybe not the case with the story you want to tell.
The best Common App essays are small stories, peeks into your life. We never, ever, recommend an essay that just talks about you and your deal for 650 words. If you’re writing an essay about an incarcerated parent, maybe it’s about how you and your sibling developed a game you play in the car on your way to weekend visits with your mom. Maybe you and your dad have a competition to see who can hand draw the coolest card. Maybe you can tell the story of how you got to watch your incarcerated parent graduate from college and how it inspired you. While we know it might be hard to tell a positive story about overcoming this obstacle. But if you have one, then tell it.
When it comes to actually writing your Common App essay, we suggest starting with a super rough draft. You've got a limit of 650 words, but we bet your first attempt will go way beyond that, and don't sweat it, that's totally fine. What you wanna aim for is a story that has a clear beginning, middle, and end. Oh, and we absolutely dig descriptive language that paints a vivid picture. Take the reader on a journey with you and let them experience it through your eyes. Trust us, your first draft will probably suck (they always do!), but keep at it, keep tinkering until you feel it's in good shape. Now, grab your editing comb and go through it to catch any grammar or spelling slip-ups. Get a trusted adult (parent, teacher, buddy, you name it) to give it a read and make sure it flows smoothly.
We understand that you may not want to write an essay about having a parent in jail, and we are here to tell you that you absolutely do not have to do that if you don’t want to. If you do want to write an essay about having an incarcerated parent, we hope you follow our advice.
Reach out to us today if you need any assistance with the college application process.