The thing about your college essay is it needs to be relatable to an admissions counselor (read: adult) somewhere in the country you don’t know. Easy, right? There are a few ways to access relatability in this regard and one of them is by talking about a feeling pretty much everyone has in common. Student instinct here is often to edge into the land of drama, existentialism, or sadness. We’d advise against all of that. While you may have had a real tragedy in life that impacted your high school journey, the essay is not the place for it (the additional info. section is!). And while you could talk about a really important life-altering lesson you learned or the reason why you became an atheist, oftentimes a story as big as that will come off as naïve from such a young writer. Failure—particularly the lighthearted kind—is, on the other hand, something just about everyone can relate to. Here are some examples:
The Other Net
One of our students, Eleanor, was not exactly an athlete. But she needed a P.E. credit and decided to play on the JV basketball team with some friends (small school, they had to accept everyone.) While she worked really hard to memorize her lines for the school musical, she definitely didn’t invest a ton into learning the basketball plays, but she did work hard during practice and showed up to every game. Eleanor finally got sick of sitting on the bench and asked the coach to put her in. One day, Eleanor had been reviewing lines in her head on the bench, when suddenly, the coach put her in to take the tipoff. Eleanor got the ball, soared down the court, and made a perfect layup. Dead silence. She had scored on the wrong team’s basket.
Telling a clear and cohesive story is a really important part of the essay, but it’s only half the battle. Essays about failure must also include a well-thought-out analysis of what happened and what you learned for the future. In this case, Eleanor talked about being present. She learned that the effort she put forth in practice didn’t matter much if she wasn’t alert in the moment when it counted. And while we wouldn’t usually suggest writing about a sport, this isn’t a cliche story about scoring the winning goal.
An Affair to Remember
Alex wanted to throw her friend a 16th birthday party, so she asked her friend (Fatimah) what she wanted to do. It should be noted, Fatimah transferred sophomore year, so Alex really wanted everyone to get to know her. When Fatimah said she wanted a quiet night and would maybe go to dinner with friends another night, Alex didn’t listen and insisted the girls do something big for the occasion. Fatimah resisted, but Alex texted all of their friends and made a reservation at a nice restaurant. Fatimah tried to cancel that night, but Alex picked her up and drove her there. At her dinner, Fatimah was pretty quiet and clearly not having the best time. When Alex asked her at the end what her problem was, Fatimah divulged that her grandmother (with whom she was really close) passed away on Fatimah’s birthday and every year, she likes to sit and read old letters at home and just celebrate in her own way. Alex wrote a great essay about listening and learning that just because something is a no-brainer for her, doesn’t mean it will work for everyone else. It revealed a greater sense of empathy.
Further Takeaways
In addition to crafting a story with a clear beginning, middle, and end, and underscoring the lesson-learned, remember a few other things: don’t be TOO self-deprecating. Humor is good. The lesson-learned shouldn’t be a huge deal—nothing tragic or life-altering.
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